1. Listening IS Communicating
Have you ever been in a conversation when the other person is talking and the whole time you’re thinking about what you’re going to say when they stop talking? Yeah… me too. It’s human nature. It’s normal. But we are not normal, my friends. We are above average and above average people do not miss this.
Research shows that when people feel like they are truly seen and heard, there is a moistening in their eyes. However, 90% of our conversations don’t experience this. So sad! Let’s change it.
2. Shout Praise, Whisper Criticism
Praise in public. Recognize in front of peers. Criticism means coach to get better, which should be done in private. The most important part of this is SHOUTING praise! Austin does a great job at this. In small group, we go around the circle and do something called “hots and nots.” We go around the circle and share what’s going on that’s good and what’s not so good. Austin almost always mentions something about how he is proud of something I have done recently. He tells me this privately, but goes out of his way to share it publicly, too. it means a lot.
Just by smiling, you give people a dose of serotonin which is an anti depressant. Never underestimate the power of a smile. When you are smiling, you can basically think of yourself as a pharmacist giving an anti depressant.
4. Spread Positive Gossip
Spread positive news about people. When you are talking with someone, go out of your way to praise mutual friends.Talk about how great they are doing, what you love about them and encourage them from afar. It gets back to them in sone way.
Encourage people with nods, facial expressions, handshakes, pats on the back, fist bumps and hugs. I love simply putting my hand on someone’s shoulder or arm when I talk with them. Just a soft touch that lets them know, I am fully listening to what they are saying. I also love a good hug!